You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
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I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
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