I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize