I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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