I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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