Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize