Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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