When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize