my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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