We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize