I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
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