I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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