Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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