I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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