she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize