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The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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