It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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