Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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