dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize