What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize