So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize