Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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