Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
this hospital has no fireball
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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