I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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