I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize