I skipped work to stalk him.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
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she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
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You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
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