So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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