this beer tastes like vomit already
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
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