Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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