considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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