Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
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