I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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