There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
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In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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