apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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