Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
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She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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