I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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