She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Houston, we have a squirter
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
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