i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize