Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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