Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize