the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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