shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Life is so much better after having sex.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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