For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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