Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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