Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
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Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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