fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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