Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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