planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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