I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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