We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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