why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize